the Common Blog

One of my favorite albums is from a band called As Cities Burn titled “Son, I Loved You at Your Darkest”, which is a phrase I like to use when I talk about Romans 5:8.

“but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8 (ESV)

I love thinking about how God loved us when we were at our absolute worst, when we were at our darkest, when we were still sinners. I heard Tim Keller say once (kind of paraphrasing) “If God can love us when we were at our worst, then nothing we can ever do will wear out his love for us.”

This truth is amazing to me.

But in the ACB album, there’s this one line where the singer is talking about struggling with being spiritually apathetic and indifferent and he says…

Oh how sweet the sound

I know it saved, but is it changing a wretch like me?

Oh my God how sweet is the sound

I once was blind, but now I just look away

I thought it was an interesting play on the words from the song Amazing Grace to talk about the struggles that he was having, at the time, with just not caring.

I think what he’s saying is that “my excuse for sinning and running from God used to be that i was blind, but now I see and I just don’t care.”

Have you ever been in a place like that, spiritually?

Have you ever been in a place where you don’t care?

Have you ever not cared that you don’t care?

I think all of us have. And even if you haven’t yet – you will.

Depression, apathy and indifference are difficult places to be as a Christian, and they’re difficult places to get out of, but not impossible to get out of.

I praise God that his Word has the wisdom, insight and truths necessary to help us when we’ve seemingly returned to our darkest place.

In Psalm 42 & 43 the Psalmist is struggling with depression and he’s in a very low place spiritually and he says things like this…

“My tears have been my food day and night” 42:3

“Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?” 42:5 & 11, 43:5

“My soul is cast down within me..” 42:5

He even says at the beginning in Psalm 42:2 that he is thirsty for God like a deer that is panting after flowing streams of water, but can’t foresee a time in the future when he will be able to come and drink and be satisfied

He asks…“When shall I come and appear before God?”

He’s saying “I need you, I’m thirsty for you, but I’m not sure when i’ll be able to come before you.”

To the Psalmist, his heart has sunk low. God seems very distant (My tears…say to me…”Where is your God?” v.3)and He seems to be ignoring him (I say to God, my rock: “Why have you forgotten me? v.9)

I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a place like this, but if Psalm 42 & 43 sounds familiar to you, I want to show what the Psalmist does to overcome this difficult season in his life.

1. He Challenges and Questions Himself

Notice what he asks himself in 42:5, 11 & 43:5 – “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?”

He asking why? He’s questioning himself, evaluating himself.

“Okay, why are you feeling this way? How did you get here? What’s the root? What’s the cause?”

“Is there a sin? Is there an idol? Is this an excuse to sin?”

He doesn’t give in and let his apathy and depression completely dominate him, he fights it, wrestles through it and questions himself.

2. He Preaches Truth to Himself

Notice what he does after each time he questions himself, He tells himself what he has to do.

“Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.” 42:5, 11 & 43:5

I like to think he’s preaching at himself, telling himself what he needs to do. He’s already questioned and evaluated himself and now he’s telling his own heart the truth he needs to hear and obey.

“You need to hope in God! You need to start praising Him! This is your God, you belong to Him! He’s your salvation!”

And then in 43:3-4 he puts into words what he’s been doing

Send out your light and your truth;
let them lead me;
let them bring me to your holy hill
and to your dwelling!

Then I will go to the altar of God,
to God my exceeding joy,
and I will praise you with the lyre,
O God, my God.

Notice that it’s God’s truth that is leading him back to God, where he once again becomes his exceeding joy.

The worst thing you can do in moments of apathy and depression is to let your feelings and emotions dominate you. To allow your own heart preach to you about life and about God. Instead, we ought to challenge and question ourselves and preach the truth of God’s word to our own deceitful hearts, that are easily led astray.

I have had many moments like this, and in those moments I have found preaching the truth to myself very helpful, specifically the truth of the gospel.

I remember the cross: that in our place for our sin, God, left heaven to live, die and rise and I don’t need to any further than a bloody cross and an empty tomb to see that God loves me. He loved me enough to crush and raise his own son.

And to think that God did this for me when I was at my worst, while I was still a sinner. And to remember that no thing I ever do, and no season I ever go through will separate me from his love

The truth of the gospel is enough to bring you out. Remind yourself of the sinless life, sacrificial death and triumphant resurrection of Jesus on your behalf. That God has bought you by the blood of his Son and brought you into his family where he loves you like his own son or daughter.

And that he’s coming back one day to make all things new, and there will be no more struggling with God being distant because “the dwelling place of God [will be] with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.” Revelation 21:3 (ESV)

And there will be no more mourning or apathy because “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21:4 (ESV)

“The Law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul” Psalm 19:7 (ESV)

“Send out your…truth; let [it] lead me…then I will go to the altar of God, to God my exceeding joy, and I will praise you…O God, my God.”

“Hope in God…my salvation”