One of my favorite albums is from a band called As Cities Burn titled “Son, I Loved You at Your Darkest”, which is a phrase I like to use when I talk about Romans 5:8.
“but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8 (ESV)
I love thinking about how God loved us when we were at our absolute worst, when we were at our darkest, when we were still sinners. I heard Tim Keller say once (kind of paraphrasing) “If God can love us when we were at our worst, then nothing we can ever do will wear out his love for us.”
This truth is amazing to me.
But in the ACB album, there’s this one line where the singer is talking about struggling with being spiritually apathetic and indifferent and he says…
Oh how sweet the sound
I know it saved, but is it changing a wretch like me?
Oh my God how sweet is the sound
I once was blind, but now I just look away
I thought it was an interesting play on the words from the song Amazing Grace to talk about the struggles that he was having, at the time, with just not caring.
I think what he’s saying is that “my excuse for sinning and running from God used to be that i was blind, but now I see and I just don’t care.”
Have you ever been in a place like that, spiritually?
Have you ever been in a place where you don’t care?
Have you ever not cared that you don’t care?
I think all of us have. And even if you haven’t yet – you will.
Depression, apathy and indifference are difficult places to be as a Christian, and they’re difficult places to get out of, but not impossible to get out of.
I praise God that his Word has the wisdom, insight and truths necessary to help us when we’ve seemingly returned to our darkest place.
In Psalm 42 & 43 the Psalmist is struggling with depression and he’s in a very low place spiritually and he says things like this…
“My tears have been my food day and night” 42:3
“Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?” 42:5 & 11, 43:5
“My soul is cast down within me..” 42:5
He even says at the beginning in Psalm 42:2 that he is thirsty for God like a deer that is panting after flowing streams of water, but can’t foresee a time in the future when he will be able to come and drink and be satisfied
He asks…“When shall I come and appear before God?”
He’s saying “I need you, I’m thirsty for you, but I’m not sure when i’ll be able to come before you.”
To the Psalmist, his heart has sunk low. God seems very distant (My tears…say to me…”Where is your God?” v.3)and He seems to be ignoring him (I say to God, my rock: “Why have you forgotten me? v.9)
I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a place like this, but if Psalm 42 & 43 sounds familiar to you, I want to show what the Psalmist does to overcome this difficult season in his life.
1. He Challenges and Questions Himself
Notice what he asks himself in 42:5, 11 & 43:5 – “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?”
He asking why? He’s questioning himself, evaluating himself.
“Okay, why are you feeling this way? How did you get here? What’s the root? What’s the cause?”
“Is there a sin? Is there an idol? Is this an excuse to sin?”
He doesn’t give in and let his apathy and depression completely dominate him, he fights it, wrestles through it and questions himself.
2. He Preaches Truth to Himself
Notice what he does after each time he questions himself, He tells himself what he has to do.
“Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.” 42:5, 11 & 43:5
I like to think he’s preaching at himself, telling himself what he needs to do. He’s already questioned and evaluated himself and now he’s telling his own heart the truth he needs to hear and obey.
“You need to hope in God! You need to start praising Him! This is your God, you belong to Him! He’s your salvation!”
And then in 43:3-4 he puts into words what he’s been doing
Send out your light and your truth;
let them lead me;
let them bring me to your holy hill
and to your dwelling!
Then I will go to the altar of God,
to God my exceeding joy,
and I will praise you with the lyre,
O God, my God.
Notice that it’s God’s truth that is leading him back to God, where he once again becomes his exceeding joy.
The worst thing you can do in moments of apathy and depression is to let your feelings and emotions dominate you. To allow your own heart preach to you about life and about God. Instead, we ought to challenge and question ourselves and preach the truth of God’s word to our own deceitful hearts, that are easily led astray.
I have had many moments like this, and in those moments I have found preaching the truth to myself very helpful, specifically the truth of the gospel.
I remember the cross: that in our place for our sin, God, left heaven to live, die and rise and I don’t need to any further than a bloody cross and an empty tomb to see that God loves me. He loved me enough to crush and raise his own son.
And to think that God did this for me when I was at my worst, while I was still a sinner. And to remember that no thing I ever do, and no season I ever go through will separate me from his love
The truth of the gospel is enough to bring you out. Remind yourself of the sinless life, sacrificial death and triumphant resurrection of Jesus on your behalf. That God has bought you by the blood of his Son and brought you into his family where he loves you like his own son or daughter.
And that he’s coming back one day to make all things new, and there will be no more struggling with God being distant because “the dwelling place of God [will be] with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.” Revelation 21:3 (ESV)
And there will be no more mourning or apathy because “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21:4 (ESV)
“The Law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul” Psalm 19:7 (ESV)
“Send out your…truth; let [it] lead me…then I will go to the altar of God, to God my exceeding joy, and I will praise you…O God, my God.”
“Hope in God…my salvation”
This picture is of my 3 month old daughter, Anna Lisette Sorci, the night we brought her home from the hospital. I took this picture and shared it on twitter and facebook with the caption “and so it begins”. Anna is our third child and it’s funny how quickly you forget the challenges of having a newborn in the house.
If you have, have had or have ever been around a newborn baby you know that they pretty much do three things: Eat, Sleep, Pee/Poop and then repeat, and this simple three-fold process requires a ton of work.
Newborn babies, for the most part, are pretty uneventful and kinda boring. Early on, they don’t really do much except lay there, which is why I spend a lot of my parenting time wrestling, tickling, squeezing,
hanging up-side down and throwing around my two boys (I know the tea parties are coming).
But you will have a hard time searching for a louder, more furious, and even more violent display of desire than a baby who is hungry for milk (see picture).
The Apostle Peter, in thinking of this very same thing, wrote these words “like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up to salvation -” 1Peter 2:2 (ESV)
Peter, here, is of course talking about the way in which Christians should desire God’s word – he’s telling us to intensely long for the Scriptures just like a newborn baby longs to eat.
There are other passages in the bible that talk about the kind of desire that we should have toward the scriptures, but there isn’t a more vivid and descriptive place than Psalm 119, below are just a few.
“My soul is consumed with longing for your rules at all times.” Psalm 119:20 (ESV)
“I open my mouth and pant, because I long for your commandments” Psalm 119:131 (ESV)
“My eyes are awake before the watches of the night, that I may meditate on your promise.” Psalm 119:148 (ESV)
When I read passages like these I think and feel a number of things like – Realization (I don’t desire God’s word like this.), Conviction (I should desire God’s words), Wonder (how can I get a desire like this?), Frustration (will I ever want God’s word this way!?)
Maybe you’re like me. You see the need you have for taking in more of God’s word. You really want to desire it like Peter and the Psalmist describe, you even recognize other things in your life that you desire like this and you wonder why you have such a hard time transferring that desire over to the bible.
If that’s you, I want to share with you just a few things that have helped me grow in this area (though I am far from panting for God’s word).
Pray/// I have often prayed Psalm 119:36, “Incline my heart to your testimonies, and not to selfish gain.”
Be honest. Cry out to God. Tell him you want to desire his word like this and that you feel helpless to do it. Ask him for help.
Dig/// So often we casually read the word. We open our bibles with no other intention than to just read a chapter. We don’t really expect to see God there, be amazed, be encouraged and grow.
“Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law.” Psalm 119:18 (ESV)
God’s word contains wondrous, amazing things and sometimes it takes asking God to show you those wondrous things to you and sitting there and meditating long enough for him to answer that prayer.
Friends/// Sometimes my friends who love God’s word and want to desire God’s word the same as I do encourage me when they share how and what they’ve been learning. Surround yourself with friends that love God and his word and conversation that are centered on God’s word.
“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17 (ESV)
Everyone knows who Michael Jordan is, even people who have no interest in sports, whatsoever. In fact, you don’t even have to say his full name and people know who you’re talking about – all you have to say is “Jordan”.
Michael Jordan was the greatest basketball player ever and few (coherent) people will argue against that and when you span his career it’s kind of hard to argue against that.
Six-time NBA champion (1991-93, 1996-98); MVP (1988, ‘91, ‘92, ‘96, ‘98); 10-time All-NBA First Team (1987-93, 1996-98); All-NBA Second Team (1985); Defensive Player of the Year (1988); Nine-time All-Defensive First Team (1988-93, 1996-98); Rookie of the Year (1985); 14-time All-Star; All-Star MVP (1988, ‘96, ‘98); One of 50 Greatest Players in NBA History (’96); Olympic gold medalist (1984, ‘92).
Most people thought that he tarnished his legacy when he came out of retirement (for the 2nd time) to sign with the Washington Wizards but even at the end of his career when he was beyond “a veteran”, he was better than most guys in the NBA, averaging over 20 points a game.
I remember the last year that he played, he made the all-star team but he didn’t get voted in as a starter, instead, Vince Carter did. It was cool to see the rest of the Eastern Conference starters who were willing to forfeit their starting position to Jordan as a sign of respect to an NBA legend.
I remember the networks always showing Wizards games, tracking Michael Jordan’s farewell tour. It was interesting to see the respect that he got on road games from the fans, the same fans that most likely had their hearts broken by him at some point during his career.
I was at Michael Jordan’s last game at the United Center when he was with the Wizards. They introduced Michael before the game started, but they introduced him as if he was starting for the Bulls – you know “from North Carolina…!” The place went crazy! It took about about 5 minutes before he could even get a word in.
Finally, we all got a little quiet to let him talk and then he’d say one thing and everyone would go crazy again. The fans delayed the start of that game by at least 15 minutes.
It was really cool being there. Growing up as a young Bulls fan from the chicagoland area it seemed appropriate to be at the United Center that night along with thousands of other Bulls fans giving Michael his due praise, thanking Michael for all the years, all the memories and all the championships.
It’s curious the kind of praise we gave to a guy who was real good at…a game.
When you read the Psalms you’ll often come across phrases like this -
“Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name” Psalm 96:8
“Praise is due to you, O God” Psalm 65:1
“I will give to the Lord the thanks due to his righteousness” Psalm 7:17
What kind of praise do you think is due God?
What do you think should be our appropriate response to an eternal God who created this universe, this world and us with a word from his mouth?
A God who set-out to rescue even his own enemies after we rebelled against him by leaving the comforts of heaven to become a man?
What kind of praise should we offer to a God who made our sin, which was our responsibility, his responsibility, in order to pay its price in full in our place on the cross?
A God who came on our behalf and took on our biggest enemies of Sin, the Devil and Death and defeated them through the sinless life, sacrificial death and triumphant resurrection of Jesus.
Give God the glory that is due his name.
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